What if Younger Me Had Access To find The Shift?
I think the Answer is: there would not be a Find The Shift!
It’s my Birthday! I do think it’s important to notice our birthdays. They are the dots on our timelines. They are a great time to reflect and Return to ourselves with curiosity and compassion.
While I was doing that, I remembered the way I used to start my birthdays. For many years I would wake up and began my special day with a reflective journal entry that inevitably ended up detailing my desire to change my body size and that THIS would be the year I finally conquered my battle with overeating!
I remember feeling so hopeful and so powerful and so certain that by the following year I would have done it and I would be free from binge eating (I didn’t know I had binge eating disorder until I was 36!)
I also remember that within weeks and sometimes even within hours the dreaded binge eating behaviors (aka disembodied eating) would always return and so would the helplessness, powerlessness and shame.
I recorded a Michelle’s Musings about all of that and I also talk about what might have happened if younger me had access to Find The Shift. Check it out! Its only a 6 min listen!
Happy Birthday to ME!!
Remember, You Exist.
Audio Transcription:
Hi, Michelle's musings here. Tomorrow is my birthday and it's now 10 20. The night before my birthday, and I was working and working a lot, I've been very busy, which is just the same old story. And I said, you know what? I, I don't want my birthday to pass me by without taking time to reflect and really think and return and really notice the passage of time and this, these dots on our timeline, which, which are our birthdays. And so here I am, I was pausing and thinking about, well, my life and my birthdays. And I remember, oh my God, this one particular journal I had, it was, I had these music, music notes, music staffs, and it was leather and really pretty, and for so many years, I would sit down and I would start my birthday with a journal entry in that journal.
And I would reflect on what I accomplished and experienced the year before and what I wanted to accomplish, achieve experience in the year to come. And every time there was some mention, I don't even wanna say some mention, I started, I'm sure I started every entry with the same idea. I'd like to change the size of my body and I want to, um, achieve controlling my, or healing my relationship with food, AKA, controlling my food intake and all of that. And I felt great. I felt empowered. I felt certain, I felt mobilized, motivated, hopeful. And every year, hours, weeks, minutes later, uh, something would change. The powerlessness would come back, the hopelessness would come back, the shame, the behaviors, of course, feelings of failure. And, uh, yeah, the cycle would continuously begin and complete. I would feel mobilized, powerful, excited, hopeful. And then for some reason, those binge eating slash AKA disembodied eating behaviors would come back. My weight would change. I'd lose weight, gain weight, lose weight, gain weight, you know the story. But birthdays were always marked with that wish and that hope.
Yeah. And here we are. And I, I now know that none of that had to do with me not wanting it enough. I now know after spending two years creating, find the shift. And really, it's not two years creating, find the shift. It's my entire life. But, and I now understand that it has nothing to do with wanting or discipline or anything. It has nothing to do with failure. And it has to do with everything that's underneath those behaviors. So with all that being said, there's a part of me that wishes, excuse me, that wishes I could go back in time and let me know what to do and how to do it. And that it's completely different than that I, than I had thought or I could have ever known. And gosh, I would've saved myself a whole lot of shame and suffering. But then I think about it, and I think, you know, I couldn't have built find the shift.
If I didn't have decades of that lost, confused dissonance in my life, I wouldn't have had the drive to create it. So, you know, now we're stuck in one of those like time machine plots where if I go back in time and reduce my suffering, then I won't create the thing that causes me to not suffer anymore . So anyway, I'm getting tired, but I just wanted to reflect on that and clearly I had to go through all of that to get to here and create, find the shift, which I love. I love what it is today. I can't wait to see how it continues to evolve and grow. And I'm so, oh, I just, not only do I love find the shift in the product, it is, if you will, quote unquote product. Um, I love what, how, I love how it feels. I love doing the daily returns every morning. I love the community members. I love the community aspect of it. I love the nervous system navigation. Like I really am happy with it. And it, it's really, really powerful. So yeah, that's all. So happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to all of the mes all of the years.
Yeah. Okay. Well, I hope whoever's listening to this, I hope you are well, sending you positive energy and inviting
You to return and to reflect. Stay curious. Okay?
Remember, you exist.